Spending the Holiday Away from Family and Friends

1. Create New Traditions

• While this seems simple, it can be really challenging with not always being familiar with the area and even with Dennis having to work on holidays or maybe even not being home. One of the traditions we keep from my family is looking at Christmas lights. My dad, who decorates the Canale Christmas Light Display, has instilled a love of looking at Christmas lights because I know the work that goes into creating a beautiful display. Although we can’t see the lights he does, we try to see at least 1 display a season. This year, so far, we’ve gone to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens with a plan to visit The Nauticus’ Winterfest on The Wisconsin in Norfolk and Christmas Town at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg.

2. Connect Virtually

• We try to make a point to FaceTime family and friends regularly, but especially on the holidays. If we know our family will be together at a certain time, we like to try to plan a time to call so that we can say hi to everyone. It’s definitely not the same and can be a bit overwhelming and emotional, but also really nice to be able to say hi to those you may not otherwise have a chance to talk to. If you can, try to plan these calls ahead of time, especially if you plan to talk with multiple families.

3. Volunteer

• Helping others during the holiday season can provide a sense of purpose and community. I signed up to volunteer with the Virginia Zoo, so I’ll be trying to do that on a few of the days that Dennis is not working. We also signed up with a local animal shelter to be able to take dogs on field trips, so that’s also one of the things we’ll try to do this coming month (and after too). There are so many opportunities to volunteer, VolunteerMatch is a great place to look if you need help finding something that interests you.

4. Self-Care

• It’s really easy to forget to take care of yourself during the holidays, and it’s also 100% acceptable to set and maintain boundaries that you have as an individual and a family. Use this time for self-reflection and self-care. Treat yourself to activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as:
  • Reading: Choose books that inspire or entertain you.
  • Meditating: Spend a few minutes each day in mindfulness or deep breathing exercises.
  • Indulging in hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy, like painting, knitting, or gardening.
  • Going for a walk: being outside in the fresh air can help to reset your system and help you think more clearly.

5. Engage with Friends

• Spend time with friends who are also away from their families. Plan gatherings or activities to celebrate the holiday together, creating your own sense of family. We’ve typically invited friends over to celebrate with us. It’s about creating a village, because let’s be honest, it does take a village.

6. Reflect on Gratitude

• Take a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Writing down things you appreciate can enhance your mood and perspective. Something that Dennis and I do is to write out how we’re feeling if we’re having a bad day. We have a notebook that we can take turns writing in if we need to vent. It can be really hard to not have family or friends around to support you all the time. It’s also important to build a community where you are. Taking time to think of the things you’re grateful for, like being together as a family this year of 4 (including our cat), can help to bring life into perspective.

It’s so important to make the most out of where you are in life. It can be expensive and challenging to travel, especially during the holidays and not always something everyone can do. Remember to have grace with yourself and live in the moment. Take life day by day and remember, it’s ok to ask for help.