Becoming a Mom

Being a mom is hands down one of the hardest, best jobs I’ve ever had.

Growing up, I watched my mom be super mom, so I had certain expectations for myself as a mom to meet what I saw her doing. She was a stay at home mom, and I’m lucky enough to be able to be that too. What I didn’t see was how hard it was to be your child’s person.

I get to be with my son at all hours of the day, which can be exhausting but is also so rewarding. I get to watch him explore his surroundings in new ways as he grows every day. Today he is 5 months old, and I can’t believe how fast the pst months have gone. I know every parent thinks their child is amazing, but to think of how much you’ve already been through with them is insane.

From the day I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified about being a good mom. Some days I still think I could be a better mom, but when I see my baby smiling up at me, I know I’m exactly what he needs.

Pregnancy

I actually found out I was pregnant by chance. I wasn’t feeling 100% like myself, but I assumed it was just me being dehydrated like I have been so many times before. I took a test and there was the faintest line. I didn’t believe it and proceeded to take 10 tests over the next few weeks. Yes. 10.

The first time I saw my baby on the screen was surreal. I couldn’t believe that I was going to be a mom. I had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, so I was extremely nervous about getting my hopes up. I tried so hard not to show how excited I was, but my husband’s pure joy and excitement caught up to me.

About 2 months in I had a dream that we were having a baby boy. My husband was convinced I was having a girl, so when I found out I was right I knew I had to surprise him.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had a lot of morning sickness, which is a joke because it was all day long. In the later stages I had some pretty bad pain that made it really uncomfortable to walk. I say this not to scare those who may be pregnant or want to have a baby, but to show you that not everything is like what you see on social media.

We actually moved when I was 5 months pregnant to a different state, and let me tell you do not recommend it if you can avoid it, but it taught me a lot. It taught me to be more patient with myself which I still have to work on. It taught me to take things day by day, which is the approach I’m trying to take when it comes to parenting.

I guess I should come to the point of why I’m writing this post. Everyone’s journey is different. My journey to becoming a mom won’t be the same as anyone else, but there can be similarities. I have anxiety, so I’ve always been worried about being the best mom, when all I needed to worry about was being the mom my baby needs.

To be the best mom I can be, I need to take parenting day by day.